Wednesday, 16 November 2011
To sing or not to sing. . .
When I started having singing lessons with Caroline earlier this year, the thought did cross my mind that I might be expected to sing a solo in her annual 'pupils concert' that she holds each November. I guess it's the least her pupils can do in return for a years supply of her wisdom to simply sing in a concert. Hmm. This would of course mean that I would need to stand on a stage, on my own, with lots of people looking at just me and expecting me to sing!?! Not to worry, I've got months before I need to worry about all that, right?
Well, we are now down to a mere three days from the concert and after weeks of dismissing the idea out of hand, I now find myself seriously considering going through with it. Have I taken leave of my senses? Maybe, but the more I hear other singers perform, the more I really start to realise that perhaps I'm not that bad at all! Maybe it is a sign of increasing confidence that I am now quite often listen to other singers and think 'I can sing better than that'!
As regular readers of this humble blog will know, for me this whole experience is not just about learning to sing. It's about conquering demons that have handicapped my whole life. Public speaking, presentations, indeed anything at all that requires standing up in front of groups of people has filled me with utter dread ever since a certain childhood event previously documented, that you can read about by clicking here.
So if you had told me this time last year that I would be even considering singing a solo at Caroline's concert, I would've thought you absolutely crazy. The fact that I am is probably an indication of the giant strides that I have made in conquering a few of those demons already this year. Just going to that first rehearsal with the male voice choir was nerve wracking enough and I thought I might have a heart attack before that debut concert in April. I managed it though and there have been a few more concerts since. There have also been several weddings in Prestwold and Wymeswold, even singing the tenor parts on my own in one of them. So bit by bit, step by step, helped along by Caroline's guidance and unlimited patience, I now find myself almost believing I can do it.
After tonight's lesson, I have realised that I now think that I am likely to be more gutted if I don't at least try, than I would be if I do and make a hash of it, if you follow my drift! But who knows what state I will be in by Saturday night. Fingers crossed I can keep the demons at bay and give a half decent rendition of Where e're You Walk that doesn't make Handel turn in his grave.
Watch this space!
Cheers for now,